Monday, July 19, 2010

If only he made the bed.....perfection!

Fourteen years and four kids ago, I married a young man.   I was 21 and he was 22 on that day. So young!!!  Yes, we have gone through our trials.  We have learned to accept our frailties and weaknesses along with each other's strengths.  When our boys ask us how they will know they are marrying the right girl, we both say "you have to love her for her faults as well as her virtues!"

He made concessions when my job had to be first.  We marched to the Army's tune together.  When it was his "turn", I was his biggest chearleader.  We have had our share of drama with our families and friends.  We have moved nine times and cannot believe our luck to have been in one place the last seven years!  We have lost pets and family members.  We have fought, cried, laughed, and loved.

We went to dinner the other night for our "celebration".  Since quiet time is so precious, we were able to commiserate on how busy our lives have been ever since.  We often say that we don't get a "break".  But in reality, who would want one?!?!

Of course, at some point Jamie Lynn came up in our conversation. It is amazing how the loss of a child can make a couple closer.  Every day I hear the horrifying statistics of divorce rates of couples who have lost a child.  For us, her death has forged the bond stronger.

I have felt my love evolve and mature over the years.  I realize that there is still some work to be done.  I just hope I am able to still say that the young boy who is now an amazing man is my everything for years to come.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


On Easter Sunday, after returning from church, I asked God to give me a sign that day.  Please God, tell me that you are there, so I know that I will see my Jamie Lynn again.  Please tell me that my faith in You makes sense.

He answered with a butterfly quietly landing in a field of wildflowers next to our home.  

Since Easter, I have had many visits from butterflies.  Daily and more than once a day.
Butterflies single, gliding on the wind.  Pairs fluttering together.  One lands on a pot nearby.  Another steps into some avacado dip. "Why, yes, help yourself Mr. Butterfly."

They come in all, yellow-orange, dark yellow, light yellow, yellow with spots, orange with spots.  Black with orange stripes.  Black with yellow stripes. 

Butterflies in the early morning as I sip my coffee.  I close my eyes to bask in the afternoon sun.  When I open them, two zig-zag in the near distance.   A butterfly lands on my shoulder as I contemplate a sunset. 

Butterflies flitter-flutter around the boys as they frolic in the yard.  They are oblivious to the perfection of the scene.

Butterflies when I think of her. When I am not thinking of remind me.  
Daddy taps my shoulder.  He points.  I smile.  Of course.  Another butterfly.  We smile at each other. 

It is our little secret, Butterfly.

"Enter each day with the expectation that the happenings of the day may contain a clandestine message addressed to you personally. Expect omens, epiphanies, casual blessings, and teachers who unknowingly speak to your condition."
 --Sam Keen


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