Buttons and Butterflies

I'm not sure what happened today, but I realized that my online support group needed a little love.

I have managed the public CTT despite Fatal Diagnosis for a year and a half.  It was created right after the Christmas that Jamie was born.  It was a way for me to gather all the women I encountered online.  We were spread out on poor prognosis groups, grief groups, loss groups, and sometimes mixed together with miscarriage groups.

I knew there was a need for us to get together to share our stories and support each other through a very difficult time.

What started as a few women, maybe 15, has now grown to a whopping 256.  These are just the women that "joined" but doesn't count the many that might have stopped by or lurk in the internet shadows to read, but not join in.  I don't blame the lurkers.  It IS strange to connect with women not only across the country, but across the world.

256 members in 18 months.

About 9 months ago, I decided to start a private group called 

Life after Carrying.......

It was a place for those of us to connect and share the more intimate things.  A place for us to talk about our REAL lives after losing.  A place to talk about the need for a baby in our arms again. A place to talk about the crazy emotions when you are pregnant again. A place for us to cry on each other shoulders when another anniversary or birthday passes by.

But today, I realized that we did "move on".  We have been hiding the worst from not only our members on the public board.

But for me, I realized that I am hiding the worst from everyone.  

To protect me or them?

I am not sure.

And as always....God tapped me on the shoulder today.

  He does that sometimes.  

A mom on my support group suggested we have a Where We Are At thread on our public board. A post that would be honest about our lives now.  She mentioned that a mom blogger was starting something in blog land.

Ironically, I linked to Holly's blog today.  Remember Carleigh's Blanket?

Holly did a blog post about Where I am. 

It is part of a shout out by Angie at Still Life with Circles.  She asked her blog mommies to post about where they are at.  

I don't follow Angie's blog, but I think I am going to take up the challenge!  

I hope I don't bore you tomorrow or maybe today!  I feel very "chatty" today.